I struggle with social media and the idea that everything needs a filter.
This is my family. My husband and I and our six daughters. half aren't looking, one has a whole fist in her mouth, we had just walked a long ways and waited for our turn to the go up the space needle.
Im raising six daughters in a world that terrifies me. All of the filters and expectations. All of the comparison and competition for status.
I do have trust that all of these little responsibilities were given to me by a God who knows what he is doing a lot more than I ever could.
Kyera is our oldest (blue skirt) at 11 from my previous marriage.
I know, a pastors wife thats been divorced. Bring on the stereotypes and condemnation.
Maddi, 10, in the glasses, my husbands daughter from a previous marriage. A bonus daughter.
Baella almost 7, she somehow put a scarf over her head even though it was 80+ degrees.
Jordyn and KatieJo just turned 3 and 4. They are the ones that aren't looking. 364 days apart, by far one of the most difficult experiences we've ever had.
Then our last, already spoiled she's 1 1/2. MaisieMae.
I always thought that my first few had a strong will but the last 3 have given us a run for our money.
See my husband and I are rural church planters in Northern Wisconsin. We have been for about 3 years. Its recently changed hands again to be under our district so we have begun an interesting season of raising support. We have always seen God come thru in amazing and crazy ways so we have faith, we are just so excited to share our vision for the community that God has called us to.
In short Ill give you a list of the spiritual warfare we've faced in the last 2 years.
My oldest daughter confessed to me that her biological father touched her inappropriately and we only recently finished the criminal court hearing where he was convicted. He will be charged soon.
Lots of people have noted my grace and forgiveness in this season but I can only give credit to the Lord. To me he looks like a broken man in need of a savior. Im sad and not at all prepared to get Kyera through this, but I know that its not my wisdom or patience that will get us through. My own testimony has some horrible sin and I have seen God use it so I know He will use this in Kyera life.
After I had Maisie I ended up very sick and eventually found out I had a retained placenta and had to get an emergency DNC.
Only 2 weeks later I woke up with a stabbing pain in my belly button. Only to go to the doctor and find that I needed a hernia repair surgery, I had an allergic reaction to the sutures and still have pain from time to time.
1 month later I was driving to go get Maddi (She's 3 hours away and we meet half way on Friday nights) It was 3 days before Christmas and we were going to have her extra long. It was icy and pitch black so I was going 10mph at least below the speed limit when a deer came out in front of me, I hit it head on and it pushed me into the other lane where an oncoming vehicle was headed straight for us. I had my 3 youngest in the van with me. I panicked because I didn't have enough hands to get them all out of seats as we were in the middle of a dark road at risk for someone hitting us again.
The babies were all safe, I had a broken sternum.
Ill leave it with that for now. I need to rest.
I often feel isolated and sad as a pastors wife. I often feel alone and under appreciated as a mother.
However, I love working with my husband every day, even though we don't always get along perfectly. I love doing eternal work, even if it feels mundane.
Pain is the path to growth.
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